Yami's evil plot
by YamiLava
Summary: *chapter 3's up*Seto had a plot, now Yami has a plot? But what is it? Read to find out.
1. Lets play!

Disclaimer-I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. at the moment! MWHAHAHA!  
  
Lava- *hugs Yami* I wuv you Yami  
  
Yami-*twitches* what's this fan fiction about anyway?  
  
Lava- *eyes glint evilly* you'll see!  
  
Yami- But I can't get hurt right coz you 'wuv me' remember.. *he says quickly, his eyes darting around at the other yu-gi-oh characters who shrug*  
  
Tea- But that's not fair! You can't give Yami special treatment!  
  
Lava- Why not? *She blasts Tea with the amazing power of writing and turns her into a marshmallow and stamps on it* HA! How's friendship gonna get you out of this one? Anyone else want fairness? *They all look around* I thought not! Now on with the fan fiction!  
  
---In the Card Shop--- Joey- We haven't done anything fun in ages.. I'm almost about to play pokemon cards, I'll do it! *He reaches into his pockets*  
  
Yugi- JOEY!! NOOOOOO!! *He dives at Joey knocking him over*  
  
Joey- Erm. Yug, what is it that you have against pokemon cards?  
  
Yugi- *shrugs* I just thought it was dramatic. but you're right we need something to do..  
  
Yami- *who was lurking in a shadow* I know what we should do  
  
*Everyone turns to look at Yami, except Mai who looks away. Tristen turns around to look at Mai*  
  
Tristen- What's with Mai?  
  
Yami- She's just mad that I stuffed her in a closet when she came round the house dressed like a slut..  
  
Joey- But she always dresses like a slut.  
  
*Minutes later you see them again, Joey now has a large bruise on his cheek*  
  
Yami- That's why she's mad at me.  
  
Yugi- So what's this great game you've got for us Yami?  
  
Yami- *He raises his eyebrows evilly* Tag.  
  
*Everyone does an anime fall*  
  
Mai- But that's for little kids..  
  
*Joey and Tristen look at each other*  
  
Tristen and Joey- TAG!! Yay! We're gonna play tag! We're gonna play tag!  
  
*They join hands to make a circle and dance around. Tea raises an eyebrow*  
  
Yami- So it's settled.  
  
Mai- *sarcastically* Oh huroo, we're going to play tag. *she looked at Yami, raising her eyebrows* Or am I dressed too much like a slut again?  
  
Yami- Yes you are. *He goes behind the counter and grabs a pair of trousers* Put these on!  
  
Mai- *glares at Yami but when she sees that he's not joking she holds them up* but. but. they're ORANGE!!  
  
Yami- Groovy aren't they! I wear them when I go out clubbing!  
  
Yugi- Since when do you go clubbing?  
  
Yami- Well I WOULD wear them if someone let me go clubbing! *He glares at Yugi*  
  
Yugi- Not until you're twenty-one!  
  
Yami- So put 'em on!  
  
*Mai reluctantly puts them on over her skirt and looks at them in a mirror*  
  
Mai- They look pretty good!  
  
*Everyone snorts and looks away, trying not to make eye contact*  
  
Joey- ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT ALREADY!! LET'S PLAY TAG!!!  
  
Yami- *Smiles evilly again.* Yes, lets. *He laughs evilly and runs out of the door, this hands raised above his head*  
  
Yugi- I can't help but think he's up to something.  
  
Tea- Nah!  
  
*They all run outside*  
  
Tristen- So who's it?  
  
Joey- Pick me! PICK MEEEE!!!!  
  
Yami- I'm going to be it! I'll give you two minutes to get away!  
  
Everyone- Okay!  
  
*They all run off*  
  
Yami- Now, to put my evil plan into motion! *He strikes and evil looking pose* MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
*Bakura walks up behind him, stares at him for a second and puts on the same pose*  
  
Bakura- MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Yami- What are you doing Bakura?  
  
Bakura- I dunno? Laughing menacingly.  
  
Yami- Do you know what I'm laughing at?  
  
Bakura- Evil plan?  
  
Yami- Evil plan!  
  
Bakura- EVIL PLAN!!!  
  
*They both run inside still laughing evilly*  
  
Yami- Why am I letting Bakura help me with my evil plan?  
  
Lava- Because I think it'd be an interesting twist to the plot.  
  
Bakura- And I needed a part.  
  
Lava- That too.  
  
Mai- Yami. Thanks for the cool trousers!  
  
Yami *blushes* Anything in the name of ra!  
  
Lava-*She glares at Mai and looks at her watch* Look at the time, must go eat that big bag 'o sugar that's just hanging around the kitchen. YOU SHALL NO LONGER TAUNT ME O CASTER ONE! Come one Yami!  
  
Yami- But.. *stares at Mai*  
  
Lava- *Drags Yami away* Oh yeah! REVIEW!! 


	2. Where does the romance start and the idi...

Disclaimer- No matter how many hats I buy, I will not own Yu-gi-oh..  
  
Lava- So what's going to happen in this chapter?  
  
Joey- Lets have some romance *He raises and lowers his eyebrow suggestively, while looking at Mai*  
  
Lava- *light bulb over head* Okay. Mwhahaha!  
  
Seto- I must be in this fan fiction!  
  
Lava- Kaiba? Who let him in? THIS WAS MEANT TO BE ONE OF MY ONLY SETO FREE FAN FICTIONS!!!!!!  
  
Seto- Pweasy Lava. I'll bestest friend. *Goes on hands and knees and begs*  
  
Lava- *twitches* I'll think about it.  
  
Seto- Oh thank you! *kisses her shoes*  
  
Lava- Just LEAVE ME ALONE!!!  
  
Seto- *backs away* Oh thank you great authoress!  
  
The gang have just started to play tag and Yami's on. What they don't know is that Yami has an evil plan and Bakura somehow has joined in.  
  
Yami and Bakura are sitting in a dark room. (In the back of the card shop)  
  
Yami and Bakura- MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(A/N- That was a waste of space?!?)  
  
Yugi's hiding in a dark ally way, nobody's about except for a bold stray cat that's he's stroking.  
  
Yugi- I hope Yami's okay. Isn't it wrong to hide when you're playing tag Mr. Fwuffles? But I don't want to be caught. How long will I have to sit here?  
  
Mr. Fwuffles (cat) - *thinks* who the hell is this little dork? Why is he trying to pull off my skin? When's he gonna leave? Why the fuck is he talking to himself? Oh my god! It's a loon! *talking* Meow?  
  
Mai's sitting in a lunch-bar, drinking a coke.  
  
Mai- This is so stupid! I never said I wanted to play tag. Why do I have to play this shitty game? Oh yeah, because Tristen wanted to.. *She gets a glazed look on her face*  
  
Suddenly the door of the lunch-bar opens and in comes a tall guy with black hair. Mai stares at him.  
  
Mai- *thinks* who is that? I haven't seen him around here before! Come over here, please COME OVER HERE!!!  
  
*The guy looks around and walks to the bar*  
  
Guy- Can I have a glass of water and a chocolate fudge sundae?  
  
Mai- I'm sure you couldn't eat a whole chocolate fudge sundae by yourself. *She smiles*  
  
Guy- Oh no. It's for my girlfriend.  
  
Mai- *thinks* Girlfriend? I can change that! MWHAHAHA!!  
  
Joey sits in a trash can in a street.  
  
Joey- Hehehee! Yami'll never find me here! I'm soo good at this game! Hehehe!  
  
*Suddenly from the next door trash can.*  
  
Tristen- Hehehe! I'm so good at hiding!  
  
Joey- Tristen? Is that you?  
  
Tristen- Joey? What are you doing in my great hiding place?  
  
Joey- What are you doing in my great hiding place?  
  
Tristen- Why I ought to.  
  
*They both get out of them and start fighting, in a very cartoon styled circle of dust. Some girls walk past and laugh at them a bit*  
  
Yugi is still sitting in the ally way, stroking Mr. Fwuffles.  
  
Yugi- It's soo good to have a nice kitty-cat to talk to! Nobody listens to me!  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *thinks* this is hurting me! Please leave me alone.  
  
Yugi- It's like the time Joey ate so much chocolate that he had to go to hospital and I really wanted to see him. The nurse let Tristen and Tea in, but she said 'The hospital is no place for little children' *His eyes water* It's not my fault I'm vertically challenged. *cries*  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *thinks* this guy really is crazy. Must- get- away! *struggles, but can't get free*  
  
Tea is in her room, rummaging through her stuff. Her room is pink and has loads of pictures on Tristen, Joey and Yugi on the walls. Also written all over the walls is 'Friendship get get us through anything!'  
  
Tea- *voice comes muffled from closet* I know it's here somewhere!  
  
*Tea's mom comes in.*  
  
Tea's mom- What're you doing honey bunch?  
  
Tea- Playing tag!  
  
Tea's mom- Well you do have all your 'previsions' don't you?  
  
Tea- Working on it!  
  
Tea's mom- Good. Because young lady, you're not going out without them. Now I must go to my friendship club. Ta Ta! *She leaves*  
  
Mai and the guy are sitting at a table together.  
  
Mai- So Darien. What's your girlfriend like?  
  
Darien- She's cute, but she can be really annoying. She's got this really annoying hair style, it's like spaghetti and meatballs. I could just. *he makes a strangling action with his hands*. But we're destined to be together.  
  
Mai- *raises an eyebrow* what makes you so sure?  
  
Darien- Seen into the future. *nods*  
  
Mai- Really? *She smiles* that's nice. *She flutters her eyelashes*  
  
Joey and Tristen, both covered in dirt are standing in the street panting.  
  
Joey- I- would- have- won.  
  
Tristen- Over- my- dead- body!  
  
Joey- That- can- be- arranged! *He weakly makes a movement towards Tristen, but collapses*  
  
Tristen- *Also makes a movement towards Joey, but collapses*  
  
Yami and Bakura are still in the dark room.  
  
Yami and Bakura- MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lava- There you go.  
  
Tea- Not much happened!  
  
Lava- Or did it? MWHAHAHA!! I guess not.  
  
Mai- How about the next chapter's all about me and Darien running away together. *She smiles numbly*  
  
Lava- No.  
  
Seto- You said I could be in it.  
  
Lava- I said you MIGHT be in it and you'll probably be in the next one.  
  
Yami and Bakura- Will we stop wickedly laughing in the next chapter?  
  
Lava- I'll think about that too.  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- Can Yugi stop stroking me soon?  
  
Lava- Hey! You can't talk.  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- Oh right.. I mean.. meow, meow.  
  
Lava- So please stay tuned and review! 


	3. Edibility and Seto makes an apearance!

Disclaimer- Owning Yu-gi-oh is an admiration that I do not hold and that is because I didn't think of it first.. Awwww!!  
  
Lava- Here's the next chapter of YAMI'S EVIL PLOT!!!  
  
Bakura- I thought it was mine too!  
  
Lava- No Yami made the plan, so he gets the credit.  
  
Bakura- That's not fair!  
  
Lava- Yes it is!  
  
Bakura- No it's not!  
  
Lava- Yes it is! *She narrows her eyes and pulls out a pen*  
  
Bakura- What's that? A pen?!? Man you're weird!  
  
Lava- I AM NOT WEIRD!!!! *Points the pen at him and he turns into a pig with Bakura's hair.* MWHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Yugi- Did you just turn Bakura into a pig?  
  
Lava- *eyes shift around* No.  
  
Yugi- Okay!  
  
Lava- Now on with the fan fiction! By the way, I shall be picking one random reviewer to be a guest star in a chapter of the fan fiction, so review and it could be you! Hey, that rhymes! *says it over and over as she walks away*  
  
Bakura- Oink?  
  
---Joey and Tristen are still lying unconscious in the street. A figure with his hood up walks past, looks at them for a second and runs over to them. He gets out a big brown bag and puts it over to them.  
  
Later you see the same figure dragging the bag down the street. The figure's laughing in a sinister way.  
  
---Yugi's still stroking Mr. Fwuffles, who is now getting really annoyed.  
  
Yugi- And then when I was five, my mother wouldn't hug me..Oh mom, why didn't you love me?!? WHY!!!  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *thinks* IF YOU DON'T GET OFF ME SOON, I'M GONNA SCRATCH YOUR EYEBALLS OUT AND THEN LEAVE YOU IN A GUTTER!!!! *saying* Meow.  
  
Yugi- Oh Mr. Fwuffles! You're so understanding!  
  
---Mai sits in the café with Darien. Both of them have a large ring of chocolate round their mouths. They're both acting very drowsily.  
  
Mai- So what happens if your girlfriend comes and realizes we ate her ice- cream.  
  
Darien- And twelve more after that. She'll be really pissed. *both of their eyes roll back and they collapse onto the floor. Everyone stares at them for a second, but go back to talking and ignoring them.*  
  
---Back in the dark room at the back of the card shop.  
  
Yami and Bakura- MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Grampa comes in and turns on the light. Yami and Bakura run and hide behind a desk*  
  
Yami +Bakura- Hissssssssss  
  
*Grampa turns off the light*  
  
Yami+Bakura- MWHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
*light on*  
  
Yami+Bakura- Hissssssssssss  
  
*Light off*  
  
Yami+Bakura- MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
*ECT..*  
  
---Mr. Fwuffles' is getting a little annoyed at Yugi now. (Seeming as there are quite a few 'bad words' in this part, they will all be replaced by the magical word edibility)  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *thinks* YOU PIECE OF EDIBILITY!!!! GET THE EDIBILITY OFF ME YOU EDIBILITY!!!!! YOU DESERVE TO GO TO AN EDIBILITY MENTAL HOUSE YOU EDIBILITY, EDIBILITY, EDIBILITY, EDIBILITY EDIBILITY!!!!!! *saying* Mew  
  
Yugi- I wuv you Mr. Fwuffles! *Strokes his skin harder*  
  
---A shadowed figure is running up a hill with a big bag slung over his shoulder. He is laughing evilly.  
  
---After about 30 minutes more of switching on and off the light, Grampa left Bakura and Yami to their evil scheming.  
  
Yami- *looks at watch* I think it's time to put our plan into motion!  
  
Bakura- You know, you never explained the plan to me, we've just been doing a lot of laughing..  
  
Yami- You'll pick it up as you go along. By the way, where's Ryou? *A muffled noise comes from the closet in the room. Yami walks opens it and a tied up Ryou falls out. Yami stares at Bakura, his eyebrows raised.* Really Bakura.  
  
Bakura- *looks around* Erm. I wasn't me? *grasshopper noise* You'll never catch me! *gets out a smoke-bomb and throws it* MWHAHAHAHA!!! *The smoke goes away. Bakura starts coughing violently* Allergic- to- smoke.  
  
Yami- Why are you so mean to Ryou anyway?  
  
Bakura- *looks around thinking* It's probably his shitty, really, really fake English accent.  
  
Yami- Good point *shoves Ryou back in the closet* Now on with the plan! MWHAHAHA!!  
  
Bakura- Not again..  
  
---You see the hooded figure again. This time he's dragging the bag into a HUGE mansion.  
  
Figure- *singing* reach for the stars, climb every mountain higher, reach. la, la, la! *He walks through the door, but the bag gets stuck. He gets a crowbar and pulls the bag through.* Oops I did it again, I made you believe, we're more than just friends... Oh baby.  
  
*The house is very dark, but it seems the people who live here have very weird living habits.you can tell this by the fact all the furniture is made from pink fluffy material! The figure takes down his hood revealing.*  
  
Seto- MWHAHAHA!! My evil plan is working!  
  
Mokuba- What are you doing big brother?  
  
Seto- *looks around shiftily* Erm. I'm. There's a piece of cheese in the kitchen, bet I can beat you to it!  
  
Mokuba- CHEESE!! *Runs into the kitchen*  
  
Seto- *He shudders and strokes something in his pocket* Soon, so very soon. *He drags the bag upstairs*  
  
---Mai and Darien are still unconscious in the café. Someone wearing a bunny costume walks in. The person grabs Mai and Darien, throws them over their shoulder and runs away.  
  
Lava- *takes out a remote control and presses pause. You see a giant TV screen and the bunny costumed person, Mai and Darien freeze.* That'll do for this chapter.  
  
Bakura- Oink?  
  
Yugi- Are you sure that's not Bakura?  
  
Lava- Perfectly sure.  
  
Seto- Yay! I was in the fan fiction and I have another evil plan!! Haroo!  
  
Lava- Sorry to break it to you, but it's not that evil.  
  
Seto- *takes out the thing from his pocket, which turns out to be a knife and strokes it* Soon, so very soon.  
  
Lava- *looks worriedly at Seto and presses a button on the remote.*  
  
*Seto raises his eyebrows cheekily at Joey and does a grin. Joey screams*  
  
Joey- MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!  
  
*Lava presses a few buttons. Seto puts his arm around Joey*  
  
Joey- HELP ME!!!  
  
Lava- Wrong button. *presses another*  
  
*Seto is suddenly wearing a tu-tu, doing ballet*  
  
Ryou- *shudders* That's not better. *looks at Seto again* Not better at all!  
  
*Lava presses another button. Hot Chocolate's Sexy Thing comes on and Seto starts striping*  
  
Yami- It burns! IT BURNS!!!  
  
*Lava presses another button and Seto suddenly has Ryou hair and is wearing the same thing as Ryou*  
  
Seto- *In a fake English accent* Oh this outfit is absolutely spiffing, now I must go play a spot of crocket!  
  
Lava- Near enough!  
  
Ryou- He's mocking me! *tugs on Lava's sleeve* Make him stop!  
  
Lava- Don't forgot, review and you have a chance of being in this excellent fan fiction!  
  
*Everyone snorts*  
  
Seto- I do conclude that this fan fiction is not 'excellent'  
  
*Lava glares at him*  
  
Seto- *quickly* It is spiffing. Ta-ta, must go.. *runs away* 


	4. Joey and Tristen's memory loss and the b...

Disclaimer- I own more of the universe than Yu-gi-oh!  
  
Lava- *blinks* I can't think of anything to say.*blinks*  
  
Joey- I can! *dances around* KAIBA SUCKS, KAIBA SUCKS, KAIBA SUCKS!!!!  
  
Lava- *blinks* Well that was. nice.  
  
Seto- If you can not think of anything splendid to say, I shall aid you with this breathtakingly good saying. JOEY STINKS, JOEY STINKS, JOEY STINKS!!!  
  
Lava- That wasn't like Ryou at all!  
  
Seto- Fine. Joey whiff is bad, Joey's whiff is bad, Joey's whiff is bad. *Seto slouches off into a corner*  
  
Tea- Can't you change him back?  
  
Lava- No!  
  
Tea- Why not?  
  
Lava- Because I say so!  
  
Tea- *whispers* that's not a very good reason.  
  
Lava- WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?  
  
Tea- Nothing  
  
Lava- *Gets out the remote and presses a button. Tea turns into a bunny*  
  
Tea- Hey! You picked on me before!  
  
Lava- *shrugs* I just find you extra annoying and fun to provoke!  
  
Joey and Tristen- We've decided that we want some romance for us!  
  
Lava- You want romance, I'll give you romance.. MWHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Bakura- Oink?  
  
---In the ally way, Yugi's basically squeezing the life out of poor Mr. Fwuffles.  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *thinks* YOU FREAK OF NATURE! IF YOU DON'T GET OFF ME, I'LL, I'LL. *His eyes glint evilly. Saying* meow.  
  
Yugi- And that's all the people I've beaten in duel monsters *He puts back a huge sheet of paper.* Now onto all the people I've ever met in my life. *He takes out an even longer sheet of paper*  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *thinking* THAT'S IT!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!! *saying* meow, mew, meow, mew, meow, mew! *A bunch of red eyes appear in the shadows*  
  
---Back at the Kaiba mansion, Joey and Tristen are now hanging from the walls by chains in a dark, damp, dungeon-like room. Joey starts to come round.  
  
Joey- I'm gonna murder you! *He tries to move his arms towards Tristen. He opens his eyes fully* Hey, where am I and why am I chained to a wall?  
  
*Tristen wakes up*  
  
Tristen- I know I've pretended to be your friend, but I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really ha- Wait, where am I? Who am I? Wait I know that one, I'm, I'm. *thinks*  
  
Joey- Who the fuck are you? *He points to Tristen*  
  
Tristen- I dunno. Who the fuck are you?  
  
Joey- No idea.  
  
*The door swings open and Kaiba walks in.*  
  
Kaiba- Do you like my little shindig girls?  
  
Joey and Tristen- I'm a girl?  
  
Kaiba- *blinks, not expecting this from them* Yes, you're girls. *He says sarcastically*  
  
Joey- Wow, I'm a girl!  
  
Tristen- Me too! *flutters his eyelashes at Kaiba* Am I a pretty girl?  
  
Kaiba- *twitches* Yes, you're a very pretty girl. *He glares at Tristen and strokes his pocket* Soon, very soon.  
  
Joey- How about me am I a pretty girl? *He flutters his eyebrows*  
  
Kaiba- Yes?  
  
Joey- *More fluttering of eyelashes* you think I'm pretty? Oh thank you. *He makes an action to flick his hair*  
  
Kaiba- I- think- I'll- be- going- now. *He edges slowly towards the door, then runs*  
  
---Back at the card shop's dark room. The lights are now turned on and Bakura's sitting on the desk, swinging his legs reading 'Porn Daily'. Suddenly a person in a bunny costume bursts in, causing Bakura to jump back and attempt to shove the porn a draw.  
  
Bakura- AHHH!! A giant bunny, just like my nightmare! Don't hurt me, please don't hurt me!  
  
*The person in the bunny costume takes off the head revealing Yami. He drops Mai and Darien.*  
  
Yami- You have a giant bunny in your dream? *Bakura blushes*  
  
Bakura- Why are you in a bunny costume anyway?  
  
Yami- I said I was getting an outfit so no-one would recognise me.  
  
Bakura- And you picked this one because.  
  
Yami- I though it looked cute.  
  
*Anime fall*  
  
Bakura- So who did you kidnap first? *He rubs his hands together and walks over to Mai and Darien* Mai. *he nods* I suppose you had to start somewhere. And a weird guy. Why did you kidnap him?  
  
Yami- I thought we could do some torturing!  
  
Bakura- Why can't we torture Mai?  
  
*Yami dives over to Mai*  
  
Yami- NOOO!!!!  
  
Bakura- Then why this guy? *He stares at Darien then Mai then Darien then Mai then Yami* Oh I see.  
  
Yami- *blushing* See what? I can't see anything.  
  
Bakura- Oh whatever it's not important, I suppose we could use someone to torture. *He starts tying them up and shoves them both in the closet with Ryou*  
  
Lava- I'm done with this chapter!  
  
Yugi- *hugs Mr. Fwuffles* you're such a nice kitty!  
  
Lava- And I have finally decided on Yami and Bakura's plan!  
  
Yami- You didn't come up with our plan until now? This was meant to be all about MY PLAN!!  
  
Lava- I had an idea at the start, now I've just expanded the idea.  
  
Yami- REALLY? THAT'S NICE.NOT. YOU SUCK!  
  
Lava- *clenches her fists* you don't mean it!  
  
Yami- YES I DO, YOU REALLY SUCK!  
  
Lava- *eyes water* Fine. fine then, I'll let you run the show. I'll just be over here..*runs away*  
  
Mai- You know, Yami that was really cruel of you, never tell a female authoress she sucks, I'm surprised she didn't do the same as she did to Kaiba.  
  
*Kaiba is sitting at a table drinking tea*  
  
Kaiba- This tea is superb! *He puts up his thumb*  
  
*Yami shudders* 


	5. Royal flush! and Seto messes up the plan

Disclaimer- I own not anything, nothing, zero, zilch, Zippo, nil, absolutely nothing of Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Lava- This is my next chapter of. wait I'm not meant to be doing this. *eyes water and she sits in a corner*  
  
Yugi- I think you're meant to be doing it Yami.  
  
Yami- Erm. This is a fan fiction and erm. it's about yu-gi-oh and. *blinks* hi *grasshopper noise* anyone want to say anything?  
  
Yugi- No  
  
Joey- No  
  
Mai- Nope  
  
Tristen- *shakes head*  
  
Seto- I must deny.  
  
Tea- Sorry no  
  
Bakura- Oink  
  
Ryou- I must decline.  
  
Yami- I think we should start then.  
  
---In the ally way, Yugi has a tighter grasp on Mr. Fwuffles than ever. Suddenly the red eyes appear again. The eyes disappear and several hundred ally cats appear. They start to creep up on Yugi.  
  
Yugi- In the whole world, you must be the most friendly kitty-cat!  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *thinks* that's right foolish human, talk on with no cares in the world, but soon you shall be nothing more than kitty litter! MWHAHHAHAHAHA!!! *saying* purr!!  
  
Yugi- Awww, you like me hugging you? Then I'll hug you tighter!  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *thinks* MWHAHAH-*chokes*  
  
--- Back in the Kaiba mansion, Kaiba's sitting on the sofa, rocking back and forth. Mokuba walks in.  
  
Mokuba- Big brother? What's wrong big brother?  
  
*Kaiba looks around, there are big shadows under his eyes*  
  
Kaiba- Joey and Tristen think they're girls. *twitches*  
  
Mokuba- When did you meet Joey and Tristen?  
  
Kaiba- They're locked up in the dungeon. I think that being bitten by that angry bunch of rattlesnakes that followed us on our way home may have made them stupid-err than they already are.  
  
Mokuba- *angrily* you locked Joey and Tristen in the dungeon? *impressed* Cool! I'm gonna go down and see them! *Mokuba runs downstairs*  
  
---In the card-shop, Yami and Bakura are sitting at a table playing cards. Yami is in his underwear and socks and Bakura has all his clothes on.  
  
Bakura- *has a smug look on his face* Royal flush! I guess you're not the master of the games anymore! *Yami gets a very shocked look on his face* Take 'em off! *Yami takes off his socks* (A/n- Yami- I have a weird feeling Lava may be, being evil to me on purpose!) *Grampa walks in*  
  
Grampa- AHHHH!!!  
  
Yami- AHHHH!!!!  
  
Bakura- Ha!  
  
(Yami- yes, it's definitely not an accident...)  
  
Grampa- *covers his eyes* I wanted to ask you if you knew where Yugi was?  
  
Bakura- No, idea.  
  
Grampa- Okay. *Runs out*  
  
Yami- Can I have my clothes back? We need to do the next part of the plan.  
  
Bakura- *walks back from the window* I think they may have mysteriously flown out of the window.  
  
Yami- WHAT?  
  
Bakura- I guess you'll have to wear the bunny costume again.  
  
Yami- But I wanted to wear my normal clothes or at least a superman outfit!  
  
*Later, Yami's back in the bunny costume, ready to go out the doors, when the phone rings. Yami answers it.*  
  
Yami- Hello?  
  
Kaiba- *from other side of the phone-line* Hello, this is Seto Kaiba speaking.  
  
Yami- Kaiba?  
  
Kaiba- If you ever want to see your friends again, you'll have to come to my mansion!  
  
Yami- Friends? Which friends? I have a lot of friends so you'll have to be specific. I mean you'd never believe how many friends I have.  
  
Kaiba- *getting jealous* Joey and Tristen. I'll let you speak to them for a second.  
  
Joey- Hello. I have no idea who you are, but if you're a cute guy, come over here and join the party.  
  
Tristen- Yeah, we'll have a wild time! *High pitched giggling*  
  
Kaiba- There you go, they want you to come round.  
  
Yami- What have you done to them?  
  
*The phone line goes dead*  
  
Yami- That monster Kaiba's kidnapped Joey and Tristen!  
  
Bakura- Oh shit. they were our next targets! We'd better go and get them.  
  
Yami- But, they seem to be acting. strangely.  
  
Bakura- They're always strange!  
  
Yami- Not like this!  
  
Bakura- *shrugs* Come one!  
  
Yami- But I'm still wearing-  
  
Bakura- *drags Yami*  
  
Lava- *is still sitting in the corner*  
  
Yami- Man! You are being so annoying Lava! I'm sorry I'm said you sucked, I didn't mean it, you're very good at writing.  
  
Lava- *sniff* really?  
  
Yami- Yes really.  
  
Lava- Aww, thank you Yami. *quickly handcuffs herself to him*  
  
Yami- What the?  
  
Lava- This is so you don't lock yourself in that closet with Mai, like I know you were planning to.  
  
Yami- How did you know?  
  
Lava- I know everything! MWHAHAHA!!!  
  
*Everyone turns around and stares worriedly at Lava*  
  
Mai- Or I just told her that you were giving me weird looks, then staring at the closet.  
  
Lava- Or it might have been that.  
  
Everyone- Phew. (Except Bakura who said the obvious 'Oink' and Kaiba who said 'Golly Gosh Gee Wiz, that's lucky!')  
  
Lava- But I do know that Tea's got an eating disorder, Yami has a fear of pointy objects, Bakura has a obsession with pointy objects, Kaiba wears girl's underwear, Mai has a secret crush on Austin Powers, Tristen looks at naked pictures of men, Yugi's only that short because he ate seventy cans of rotten mush when he was a kid and Ryou's mother was a piece of cheese.  
  
Ryou- Phew.  
  
Lava- And he's not really English.  
  
Ryou- NOOOO!!!!!  
  
Joey- Ha! You don't know anything about me, you don't know anything about me!  
  
Lava- Actually I was just getting out my list of weird things I know about Joey. *She gets it out and it's about a mile long* Number 1. When he was 12, Joey dyed his hair green and asked people to call him Snazzy Bazzy Bo, Bo. Number 2. When Joey was 7 he owned all four blue eyes white dragons, which he traded for a mouldy cookie. Number thr-  
  
Joey- MAKE IT STOP!!!  
  
Yugi- Just how many of them are there? *Looks at sheet* twenty million and five? That's a bit obsessive.  
  
Lava- It's a hobby. I actually have a rather long list about Pegasus, he frolics about in a tutu a bit too much for my liking. *shudders*  
  
*Everyone stares at Joey who is now wearing a snake costume and wiggling around*  
  
Joey- I'm a snake, hissssyy hiss hiss hissy! I'm a snake!  
  
Lava- Twenty million and six. *She writes it down* 


	6. Call us BettyBelle and the mysterious di...

Disclaimer- *Yami's voice* For the love o' Ra! How many times have we told you! Lava doesn't own Yu-gi-oh!  
  
Lava- *Still handcuffed to Yami* I'd like to welcome you the next chapter of Yami's evil plot!  
  
Seto- Can't we name it Seto's evil plot instead, because I've been pondering on the fact that I have an evil plot also.  
  
Lava- No you already have an evil plot in my other fan fiction!  
  
Seto- But everyone just adores me!  
  
Lava- Do not!  
  
Seto- Do to!  
  
Lava- Do not! Hey! That's not very Ryou like!  
  
Seto- Very well then, Yami's evil plot it is.  
  
--- At the Kaiba mansion, Seto's locked himself in the bathroom, refusing to come out until Joey and Tristen act normal again and Mokuba, Joey and Tristen. well you'll see.  
  
Mokuba- It was so kind of you to do my hair! *has a pink ribbon in his hair* And make me look all pretty Joey and Tristen! *has make-up and a pink dress on*  
  
Joey- It was the least we could do when you kindly accepted us into your loving home. *wearing pink dress and pink ribbon in his hair too* And call me Betty.  
  
Tristen- Call me Belle. *wearing pink dress and pink ribbon* Now we'll look all pretty for when the boys come round!  
  
Mokuba, Batty- I mean Betty and Belle- *Squeals and run upstairs*  
  
---Bakura's still dragging Yami up the hill to the Kaiba's mansion---  
  
Bakura- Look, this could be a trap, so I recon you should go first.  
  
Yami- *Sarcastically* Yeah, I'm really going to just walk in there when it could be a trap.  
  
Bakura- Then it's settled!  
  
Yami- *grumbles and rings the doorbell*  
  
*Kaiba answers it instantly*  
  
Kaiba- Good, you're here, now take your little friends and go! Now! Please leave! And take Joey and Tristen, before anyone sees me with you!  
  
*Yami and Bakura walk in*  
  
Yami- Where are they?  
  
*High pitched giggling from upstairs*  
  
Bakura- Oh now I get it! *nudges Seto* You've got a hot date round and you don't want us to spoil it!  
  
Kaiba- No-  
  
Yami- No need to deny it! We just want to meet the un- I mean lucky lady who gets to date you!  
  
*More high pitched giggling. Bakura and Yami walk up the stairs, Seto walking nervously behind them. They turn look round the corner and realize it's coming from Mokuba's room*  
  
Yami- Tut tut! You're not meant to have your hot dates in your little brother's room. *Slowly opens the door*  
  
---In the street, Yugi's still cutting off Mr. Fwuffles breathing and the cats are still creeping up on Yugi.  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *thinking* Soon. Soon, I shall have this midget where I want him. *saying* m-e-o-w..*twitching*  
  
*The cats finally reach Yugi, one of them taps Yugi on the back*  
  
Yugi- *Turns around.* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! *faints*  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- *jumps from his arms. Saying* Works every time! Now get him to our secret lair!  
  
*The cats drag Yugi off*  
  
---Mai and Darien are finally coming round in the closet---  
  
Mai- Where am I?  
  
Darien- Wha?  
  
Mai- Looks like a closet.  
  
Darien- Wha?  
  
Mai- I should probably think of someway of getting out.  
  
Darien- Wha?  
  
Ryou- *mumbles, because he's got a gag on*  
  
Darien- Wha?  
  
Mai- Ryou? *blinks* Why are we all stuffed in a closet? *takes off his gag*  
  
Lava- Okies. I know it's short, but I can't be bothered to write more.  
  
Yami- Why not?  
  
Lava- Because I happen to be writing three other new ways of torturing you and your friends.  
  
Seto- Jolly good. No wait, that's bad.  
  
Lava- *evil grin* So please review and. *holds up a sign that says- 'WATCH THIS SPACE!!!!!!!!'*  
  
Bakura- Why? I mean Oink.  
  
Lava- Because I'm writing three other- Oh SHUT UP! *high fives Yami* 


End file.
